Grandma/Mom Byler

As most of you know, Lyn's mother, Amanda, passed away on Sept. 18.  She had had her good & bad days for the past year and a half.  Near the beginning of September, she had stroke symptoms and declined pretty rapidly after that.  We are thankful that she didn't suffer too long, and she was longing to go meet her Jesus.  We sure do miss her!  We will all have adjustments to her absence!

I thought it would be nice to put a few things here on the blog for those of you who don't have facebook.  The rest of you can skip this post if you wish.

This picture was taken last year in October (2014).  We had an open house in their home for their 69th wedding anniversary.  This coming weekend, on Oct. 18th, 2015, they would have been celebrating their 70th anniversary!

The eight living siblings

This is the first time since the youngest grandchild was born that all 43 living grandchildren were together.  The ages range from 11-49.  

Just a note.....all of our kids are in the 9 youngest....Devan is the youngest.

If my count is correct, this is 133 of the 149 descendants of Joe & Amanda

The Obituary

Amanda (Bontrager) Byler, 88, of Dover, Delaware died Friday, September 18, 2015 at her home. Born April 15, 1927, in Dodge City, Kansas, she was the daughter of Ezra and Sovilla (Yoder) Bontrager. She recalled memories of her familys move by train from Kansas to Dover, Delaware when she was 2 years old to escape the devastation of the Dust Bowl. She married Joe W. Byler in 1945 and together they gave themselves to raise their family of 9 children. While raising her family, Amanda gave herself selflessly to serve her church in various ways such as teaching Sunday school and serving oversees missions which included collecting clothes, making comforters, and assembling baby bundles. She loved worshipping her Lord Jesus with her church family at Maranatha Fellowship, Dover, DE of which she was a founding member. She enjoyed exercising her gift of hospitality to friends, family, and traveling missionaries. Her joy was sending her guests away with a full stomach and warmed heart. In 1974 Amanda joined her husband in opening and managing a small surplus grocery outlet, which grew to what is now Bylers Store of Dover and Harrington. Amanda enjoyed building warm relationships with many of their customers and staff.

She was preceded in death by her parents, a daughter, Alta Nisly, an infant granddaughter, Baby Girl Lapp; son-in-law, Willis Bontrager; three brothers, Eli, Samuel, and John Bontrager; five sisters, Mary Felty, Katie Byler, Fannie Bontrager, Elizabeth Bontrager, and Lovina Yoder. Amanda is survived by her husband Joe W. Byler, 6 daughters Ida Mae Lapp and husband Daniel of Dover, DE, Esther Bontrager of Sullivan, IL, Mary Ann Christophel and husband Kirk of Worton, MD, Phyllis Maust and husband LaVern of Salisbury, PA, Erma Yoder and husband Paul of Dover, DE, and Sharon Kropf and husband Harold of Dover, DE; Born: April 15, 1927 Death: September 18, 2015 two sons Joseph married to Naomi of Salisbury, PA and Lyndon, married to Jolene of Dover, DE; one son-in-law Nevin Nisly and wife Joann of Hutchinson, KS, 43 grandchildren and 65 greatgrandchildren, and 1 great-great grandson, and two sisters Lydia Emerson and Millie Byler. A viewing will be held Monday, September 21, 2015 from 2-4 and 6-8 at Maranatha Fellowship Church, 60 Deer Track Lane, Dover, DE. Funeral services will be held, 10:30AM, Tuesday, September 22, 2015 at Calvary Baptist Church, 163 Victory Chapel Road, Dover, officiated by her sons, Pastors Lyndon and Joe Byler. Interment will be in Sharon Hills Memorial Park, Dover, DE.

The Eulogy

This eulogy is kinda long to post, but it was so well written that it is worth it.  Several of the grandchildren worked together to compile this.

GRANDMA AMANDA BYLER’S EULOGY 

WRITTEN BY AMANDA MAUST TIEMERSMA 

READ BY KRISTINA NISLY

April 15, 1927 – September 18, 2015. 

For our grandma those are significant dates. But the life she lived between those dates is where the real story is. It’s a story of a woman who was spunky, strong, nix-nutzy, and opinionated. However, it is also the story of a woman whose heart turned toward Jesus and whose hands served wherever there was a need.

Perhaps the most important part of Grandma’s story was her search for truth. While living in Catlett, Virginia, she prayed that somehow she and Grandpa would encounter God. Two months later, Grandpa had a slipped disc in his back and was in severe pain. Grandma took over much of the work around the farm. Times were very hard. On a cold winter day, Grandma went into the barn to feed the horse but ended up kneeling beside a hay bale. When telling the story, Grandma said, "As I was praying all at once I felt something on my head. I saw that the whole barn was filled with the presence. I got up and I knew…I knew I had received new birth."

Grandma and Grandpa were married on October 18, 1945. They were poor, very poor. They furnished their house for a mere $75. The man who sold them their furniture threw in a rocking chair because every couple needs a rocking chair. Life was hard as they struggled to provide for their growing family. One night a man came to their door asking for food. Grandma thought of her family’s need. With a begrudging heart she set out a meal, not realizing that the stranger could sense her reluctance. The stranger left that day and did not eat the food she had offered. That night she had a dream and Jesus showed her a vision of her stingy heart. She was overwhelmed with conviction and vowed to herself that she would always give her best when people came to her door.

Offering her best was never more obvious than when she was in the kitchen. Sharon remembers her mother packing extra food in her lunch box so that she could share with children who didn’t have enough. When Annette tried to make mashed potatoes with only a half stick of butter, Grandma promptly stepped in and added two more. Food at Grandma’s house became part of her legacy. From the Thanksgiving stuffing to the fried fish, to Darryn getting a special bowl of boiled potatoes instead of mashed, we always felt appropriately spoiled.

Grandma’s care for people didn’t end with sneaking Tim pieces of pie before dinner. She had a great heart for service and a passion for overseas missions. Her home was always open to visiting missionaries and she spent countless hours collecting and packaging clothes, blankets, and baby bundles to send overseas. When Grandma heard of a need, she always did her best to help, whether it meant donating money, cooking food, or giving gifts.

A part of Grandma’s story that she rarely told, was of her struggle with Parkinson’s Syndrome. She began to show symptoms in her late thirties. Most people did not realize the extent of her limitations as she fought with the debilitating condition for over fifty years. Many of us remember brushing Grandma’s hair. What we didn’t understand as children was that it was difficult for her to lift her hands above her head.

We all have fond memories of listening to Grandma and Grandpa tell the same story from their own perspectives—at the same time. We loved to hear the stories of the ducks eating the tomatoes or the stray cat under the porch, but the true entertainment was in the telling of the story. Grandpa can tell a great story, but Grandma could enhance the story with the exact dates and details. Grandpa, we still look forward to hearing your stories, and remember, now you will get the last word.

No relationship is perfect, and we know that Grandma and Grandpa’s marriage included quarrels and tensions common to all relationships. Grandpa was quick to give driving directions, but Grandma was even quicker to tell you a better route. While Grandpa might flip a scrabble tile, a q no less, so it looked like a blank, Grandma freely added her own words to the Scrabble Dictionary. On one occasion, when they were making their elderberry jam, Sharon walked into the kitchen to find Grandma with her finger wrapped in a large bandage. Turns out, that while Grandma was holding the branch for Grandpa so he could clip the berries, he accidently clipped her finger. She might not have been so mad had he not doubled over with laughter as she held her bleeding finger.

Their marriage also included examples of grace. Once when they were taking me to the airport, they decided to sing some of their favorite songs from the past. Grandpa knew the tune, but Grandma knew the lyrics. She would quote a line and he would sing it out. They weren’t singing in unison, but they complemented one another. As Grandma’s health deteriorated, she was no longer able to do some of the things she loved. Grandpa stepped in to help. Once when Sharon came into the kitchen, she found Grandpa canning pickles as Grandma sat at the table giving instructions. After nearly seventy years of marriage, it is the good memories that stand out. All quarrels forgotten, Grandpa selflessly cared for her, bringing her flowers, making her eggs, and holding her hand. They’ve given us an example, not of a perfect marriage, but of the beauty that comes from a lifetime of loving each other faithfully.

We always knew that Grandma wanted us to follow Jesus, but she also wanted us to know how much she loved us. She made it a point to give birthday cards and Christmas gifts to each of her 43 grandchildren, well except for Steven a few times. Sometimes that love compelled Grandma to speak confidently and with much conviction, even clutching your arm and hanging on so you couldn’t get away until she was finished. While Amy was in college, Grandma expressed concern that she didn’t have enough money. When Amy asked why Grandma thought that, she said that clearly her jeans were too tight and they must be the wrong size. Grandma offered her fifteen dollars to buy a new pair. She was also known to pointedly remark that a particular skirt could use more fabric at the bottom. And you wouldn’t want to be caught, like Matt or Danny, shooting Grandma’s birds. Because of how strongly she expressed herself, she gained a reputation for being bossy and opinionated. This reputation grieved her. It didn’t reflect her heart. She was truly speaking from a deep love and concern. We all knew that grandma was on our side. She often claimed III John 4 as a favorite verse, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

Grandma was not afraid to tell stories of times God convicted her of sin in her life. It was only eighteen months ago that after being anointed for physical healing, she had a vision of Jesus and clearly saw His love for her. She told April that she could not experience this kind of love and still cling to bitterness or hold on to grudges. She was a broken human being, just like all of us, an average person. However, spiritual healing came as she was transformed by the power of God’s love. Many of her stories were simply lessons. Lessons of how God’s love can transform our average into His remarkable.